I caught someone trying to burglarize my house last night!
Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 5:16 am
Long story short, I caught some douche bag trying to cut power to my house and break in last night while I was up, lights were on and my dog was barking because he saw the guy. I beat his ass, called the cops and had him tossed in jail. Fucker tried to pull a knife outta his pocket during the struggle when I busted him. Cops found it on him later when they frisked him. Fucker got what he deserved from me!
Cops were laughing at him outright. Told him he got the ass whippin' he deserved from me.
Told me they were glad someone finally caught one of these pricks. Apparently there's been a string of robberies/burglaries in town and they haven't caught anyone yet as most people weren't home when it happened. Laughed and said this one messed with the wrong guy. I told the prick he's lucky I didn't shoot him. I did bitch slap him a few times and do a number on his head and face.
Cops said not to worry. My property is CLEARLY marked No Trespassing on all 4 sides. I'm protected, which I already figured.
Score one for me, none for the zero who tried to rob me.....
Below is my statement for the police, I typed it out and wrote it out for them. He's getting charged with Criminal Trespass, Criminal Vandalism, Assault, and possibly attempted burglary.
Cops were laughing at him outright. Told him he got the ass whippin' he deserved from me.

Cops said not to worry. My property is CLEARLY marked No Trespassing on all 4 sides. I'm protected, which I already figured.

Score one for me, none for the zero who tried to rob me.....
Below is my statement for the police, I typed it out and wrote it out for them. He's getting charged with Criminal Trespass, Criminal Vandalism, Assault, and possibly attempted burglary.
Wednesday November 4th, 2009.
AT approximately 9:30 PM MST, I was on the phone with a friend. My dog started barking and acting very agitated , which is out of character for my dog , unless he has good reason.
So, I ended my phone call, took the phone and my flashlight outside and porceeded to check my cars and my front yard. I then checked the east end of my house. Nothing so far. I went to the west end of my house, and still nothing. However because my dog was still going off, I proceeded to the south side (backyard) of my house.
Upon turning the corner to the south side I spotted an individual with a backpack messing with my phone and electrical boxes. I apporached and said "Hey , what the hell are you doing?!". The individual turned and tried to hit me, taking a swing at me. I dodged, elbowed him in the head, grabbed him in a choke hold, and put him to the ground. I then, while holding him down, attempted to call the Milan P.D.
He started struggling again and was reaching for his back pocket. Fearing a weapon, I dropped the phone and flashlight and subdued him again and proceeded to bring him around the house to the north (front) side.
At this time he went "dead weight" , lifting his feet off the ground trying to make me drag him. So , I put him on the ground, subdued him again and attempted to call the Milan P.D. again. My phone (a cordless) had no dial tone and kept saying "Searching".
It was at this time I realized all my house lights were off as well as my yard lights. So, I had to escort the individual back to my power pole/phone box area, and while keeping him subdued in a headlock,realized he had tripped my main breakers, killing all power to my home.
I reset the breakers and called the Milan Police , told the dispatch I had caught a trespasser on my property and was behind my house. I then proceeded to escort the individual around the house to the front where the driveway is. He was still fighting me and dragging his feet , so I subdued him yet again on the west end of the house where I could see my driveway and waited for the police.
Due to a miscommunication by dispatch to responding officers, the officers showed, then left again. I saw the spotlight and the flashers. I called back to Milan P.D. , they corrected the directions and Corporal Knotts was first on scene.
During the time waiting betwen the 1st and 2nd call , and during the 2nd call, to P.D. , the individual made threats against me, my family, my home , and other things. Up to and including, killing me and burning my house down , etc.
The 2nd time I called Milan P.D. , I stayed on the phone until Cpl. Knotts arrived on scene, which was only a moment or two.
She arrived, I held the individuals arms behind his back so she could cuff him ,and she took it from there.
I then spoke to her about pressing charges and thus, this statement I am writing.